As I graduate college this year, I’d like to capture some of the most memorable moments I’ve had at Berkeley. These memories won’t be those easily identifiable ones like trips with friends, of which I have photos and videos to eternalize. Instead, these memories are more internal than external and can’t be so easily captured. So I’ll do my best with writing to express them.
Swimming on 12/16/21
It was my last swim of my freshman fall semester. The next day, I would see my beloved family and go on vacation with them. Though it was my last swim at Berkeley in 2021, it was no easier than any other practice.
It was a dark and cloudy day, and by Bay Area standards, it was cold. The wind blew the rising steam off the calm surface of the heated pool. There was barely anyone at the pool as it was Thursday of finals week. I walked up to the edge of the pool, overcame whatever hesitations I had, and jumped in.
The pool’s heating system rarely had fluctuations in temperature, but for some reason, that day’s water was particularly cold. I swam my normal routine and was on the edge of shivering by the end of it, something that never happened when the water was heated normally.
My freshman fall semester was the toughest semester I’ve had due to my damaged health during that time. The compromised sleep in the dorms and the low-quality dining hall food seriously hurt my quality of life. As such, I had less energy to swim, but I still swam the entire semester anyway.
I finished my last swim at Berkeley in 2021, took a warm shower, and looked forward to seeing my family tomorrow.
The most memorable moment of this whole memory was walking out of the locker room and seeing the steam rise from the Olympic-sized pool. The lack of sun made the steam that much more visible. The scene was beautiful. It was magnificent. It was awe-inspiring.
I had many thoughts in my head at that moment: how it would be my last swim, how I would be done with finals after that day, and how I would be free in less than 24 hours. This intense mental state coupled with the grandeur of the steam made for an unforgettable experience.
Napping in Sophomore Fall
I don’t remember the particular date this memory occurred, or maybe it was a memory from a culmination over many dates.
It was autumn and slightly chilly in my room. I had finished my swim and had cooked and ate lunch. As I prepared to take my afternoon nap, I closed the window curtains and looked forward to the next 25 minutes of rest. I put my hood from my hoodie over to make for a more comfortable head position lying down and jumped into bed.
While I pulled the blankets up to my chin and put my eye mask on, I heard the geese squawking as they flew for their annual migration. At that moment, I was overcome by a feeling of peace and tranquility. As I lay in my cozy bed in a cool room hearing the autumn sounds of geese, I felt so calm. The next 25 minutes would be completely mine to soak up.
Nowadays, when I take a nap in the fall season and hear the sound of the geese, I relive similar feelings.
“Rushing” a Fraternity in Junior Fall (8/24/23)
Rushing refers to the period when students check out fraternities and fraternities put on events to entice new members to join. I attended one of those events for free food with no intention of joining, as I had no interest in fraternity life and would be graduating this semester.
As I waited for them to grill the steak, I was bored. To occupy myself, I decided to observe others and the overall scene. I wasn’t in a rush to make conversation and was comfortable standing alone saying nothing. The first thing I noticed was that the rushees were anxious to be engaged in conversation. A few even came up to me to make small talk.
I wasn’t in the particular mood to talk at length so I responded with one-word answers. Despite my lack of conversational eagerness, they continued asking questions in hopes of furthering the conversation.
Surrounding this fraternity house were many other fraternity and sorority houses, each hosting their own events. I gazed at the other houses and saw almost everyone eagerly engaged in conversation. I asked myself, how much of it was out of genuine interest and how much of it was out of the fear of being silent and appearing awkward?
As I observed others in almost frantic conversation, I felt a calmness within me. Having no one to please and no fraternity members I needed to woo, I found an inner peace amidst the emotional exuberance of my surroundings.
I thought back to my high school years when I was so insecure and cared so much about what others thought of me. In reality, everyone is so wrapped in their own insecurities and in trying to not appear awkward; no one has the mental space to consider how awkward you look. While I had known this fact on a surface level, I gradually internalized this fact throughout my time at college, and it came to a climax in this experience.
Reflecting on Memories
I never expected these moments to create lasting memories. Whereas, with things like vacations, it’s almost certain that they’ll create memories. Nevertheless, my unanticipated memories hold just as much weight as my anticipated ones. Because they’re unanticipated though, they have to be recorded after the fact. But after the fact, we often aren’t so keen to capture them anymore.
I hope my recollections inspire you to think about your internal experiences and recollect them. Know your past so you can understand your present and predict your future.